Since I met my husband in 2010 we have lived in a total of 8 different properties. Now when there was just the two of us it wasn’t so bad, especially when living abroad and the packing and unpacking gets done by a removal company. However, as we start to think about where we are going to move to next it is going to be very different with James and we certainly have a lot more to consider than just the two of us.
The last time we moved was from Lithuania to the UK and James was just 4 months old. It was quite traumatic for both James and I and probably the other passengers on the plane, but he was a baby, he didn’t take much entertaining and he would have been too young to remember any of it. It was fairly easy for him to adapt to a new life in a different country because he was so young, and for me I already had friends and family where we were moving to so the transition wasn’t too bad. This time however will be different. James isn’t the most adaptable child and I am not sure how moving will affect him. He has a routine now, he attends toddler groups, and soon will be attending a playgroup, he is familiar with his friends and family and recognises the places we visit. To take him away from the things he is happy and familiar with will be hard for me because I know how much he enjoys his life here and to move him away from it is going to be quite daunting for me. What if he doesn’t settle well? What if he misses his friends and the places we visit?
If we stay where we are now for another three years, James will have to start school here and then it will be more disruptive for him having to move schools in another couple of years. We figured it will be less traumatic in the long run to move next year and for him to start a school where he can potentially stay for longer than three years. Schools are another aspect that we now have to think about when we move. It’s not just finding an affordable area we like, or somewhere that is easy to commute to London from, but we need to find somewhere for James to go to school.
If we don’t move abroad, where James would attend an international school we will be moving to somewhere that is affordable and within commuter distance of London. This will be a big change for us. James is used to his daddy being there when he eats his breakfast in the morning and again when he eats his tea in the evening and for his bath and bedtime story. Depending on where we live this may change and daddy may no longer be around at those times. The days for me will feel longer because I will be looking after James on my own for a longer period of the day. Both James and I will have to make new friends, which I often think is easier when you live abroad because everyone is in the same position and looking to make friends. When you move towns in the UK people often already have their friendship groups and aren’t always looking to be friends with outsiders, so it can be hard work. Although, my husband often points out that some of my closest friends here are those that are friends that I didn’t know already.
Just some of the lovely friends I made in Lithuania.
On the plus side if we move to nearer London we will buy our own house and that fills me with great excitement. Having lived in accommodation that hasn’t been our own for the last seven years has been frustrating. The accomodation we have stayed in hasn’t always been practical for our circumstances, but that is part of living abroad and the way things go. Although we will have to downsize from where we currently live the fact we will be able to do things to our house will be a real novelty to us.
I am not the most adaptable person or so I would have thought, but I have learnt that moving to different places, although stressful can also be really fun. I never would have thought I would ever live abroad, but I did and I coped really well with it. It certainly takes a few weeks to adapt to a new place but we are far more adaptable than we think. There will be new places for James and I to explore and new people to make friends with. Every place we move to I am lucky to accumulate new friends, but am always then sad to leave them. Social media now means that it is easy to keep in touch with them and it has become part of a way of life for us, one that will also be a part of James’ life. And what do they say “home is where the heart is”, that is certainly true for us, as long as we are all together we will make the best of where we live.