Everybody frequently talks about how toddlers are always hurting themselves; falling over, banging their heads, bumping into things, it’s all part of their development and learning how to coordinate their growing bodies.  You frequently hear how so-and-so has hurt themselves yet again and most toddlers knees are covered in bruises and scrapes.  I want to think about the parents though, what about injuries toddlers inflict on us?

Is it just my child or do all children like to inflict injuries on their parents?  Recently I seem to have been acquiring quite a few injuries from James.  If it’s not being punched in the nose with a toy (accidentally of course) I am gaining strains from him protesting to walking, giving way on his legs so I am left pulling his full weight off the floor with one arm.  He is heavy and on different occasions I have strained my neck, back and chest from having his two stone of toddler weight hanging off my arm. If he decides not to walk up the stairs properly, which is a daily thing, I am left again trying to pull him back up to standing to get him to the top of the stairs without either of us falling down them, which is a fear at the forefront of my mind.

I don’t know if it is just my child but James has an inability to keep still which results in me or his dad being susceptible to all sorts of kicks and head butts to our bodies.  Getting James dressed is like wrestling a cat into clothes, as he tries to carry on playing, running around or generally climbing all over me like I am a climbing frame. You can see why I put the iPad on for a nappy change, because there is no way this clean freak is going to let him roll around the room with poo smeared all over his bottom.  I am not sure why he feels the need to use me as a climbing frame, but it hurts.  He uses my hair to pull himself up, frequently pulling it out.  I am sure my hair has got a lot thinner since James started using it as a rope, then he climbs all over me often pinching my skin as he tramples over my legs.

I can be sat on the sofa and he will all of a sudden launch himself at me, and that is anyone’s guess as to what injury I will sustain from that.  It is frequently being kneed in various places or pushing me back so far I bang my head on the wall behind me thinking my brain is actually moving inside, and more often than not James gets off scot free.  When he gets out of the bath is another prime opportunity for him to inflict an injury on me as he won’t keep still while we wrestle him into his pyjamas.  He climbs all over me and during one of these times he inflicted the most painful injury yet.  He headbutted me under the chin and as this was unexpected I ended up biting my tongue on both sides drawing blood, it brought tears to my eyes.  If I have an unexplained bruise on my body or my back hurts or something and I tell my husband his first response is, is that an injury from James? The answer is usually yes.

I started to think about the injuries I have received from James and then I realised it’s actually from conception that he started conflicting pain on me.  During my pregnancy I was often struggling with back pain or pain under my ribs from James deciding he would like to lodge his bum there.  He was a big baby and I certainly felt uncomfortable a lot of the time, but as he didn’t want to come out he obviously found it very comfortable.  Then having a c section, more pain, breastfeeding, more pain, then he started pulling my hair, and just continued to inflict physical pain on me.  You may wonder why I tolerate him doing this to me, well I do tell him to stop but he either doesn’t understand or it falls on deaf ears.

So yes toddlers may be accident prone, but they are also prone to inflicting accidents on their parents and we also need sympathy.  What injuries has your little one inflicted on you?